## Resilient Koan 20 - Gravity and Levity ### Koan: If most serious things are 'weighty', is it appropriate to hold them lightly? ### Discussion: What in life deserves to be taken seriously? Serious endeavours, religious schisms, human development and our civilisations most insoluble social challenges are weighty topics. They deserve our serious attention, and understanding of the 'gravity' of the situation and consequences of our choices. My experience is that my interpretation and expression of seriousness of intent can manifest as earnestness, obsession, perfectionism, rigidity and lack of compassion. This is not healthy if one wants to stay healthy, resilient, loved and in-relationship with others who may not share the same vision or intention. In my case, I am particularly aware of the tone I use and commitments I make with peers and friends. I sometimes get it completely wrong - making jokes about something/someone that are really hurtful, being flippant about the most serious of invitations and commitments, and being serious and dramatic about things other people perceive as being relatively trivial. Or, in the worst case, when someone earnestly approaches me about a topic they know I have an interest in (global justice) I can make jokes about it being for hippies who 'want to save the world' (sarcastic tone). A great way to shut down conversation. It is not that topics such as that can't be treated with humour to good effect, but perhaps it is the type and tone of humour that matters. Shallow seriousness is perhaps more offensive than humour that expresses a deep understanding of the paradoxical nature of truth, being or our own incoherence. ### Inquiry: To work in partnership, in community, in engagement with others effectively on any meaningful topics requires seriousness and a commitment. Yet my experience of the most effective and creative leaders is that they know when to joke around. If you are playing the role or the jester, stand-up comic, monkey, bubble-blower or (rodeo) clown one of the benefits is to to 'lighten' the dynamics within the serious context while not sacrificing any of the depth. The heavy and light, serious and humorous, earnest and flippant, constrictions and fee-flow can be juxtaposed and new paths illuminated and navigated. Even with those professions mentioned, serious skill, practice, discipline, and a clarity of intention is required in order to skillfully execute the most hilarious fall. That's on the conscious side of the coin. On the flipside, humour and levity can be an unconscious reaction to challenging circumstances where seriousness may lead to shame, acknowledgment of hurt, and all sorts of conversations that we would rather not have! It can be a way to dismiss the seriousness, dismiss the intent, close down the opportunity to engage more deeply and refuse to inquire into our own priorities and integrity. ### Insight: If gravity and weight is the energetic and conceptual equivalent of 'attachment', and levity and lightness the same equivalent of 'detachment', then perhaps it is what we are attached or detached to that is the question. The seriousness and commitment can be to the relationship and the ultimate outcome (in the future, and in-this-moment), while the levity and detachment can be in relation to the means by which that relationship is maintained and that outcome achieved. It is only by holding things lightly that you can be open to new depths, new learning, holding new perspectives. Perhaps the most burdensome, weighty item is one's ego as it clings to all that it knows and has. ### Metaphor: One idea is to consider a human walking on a planet as an expression of interacting with the ground and moving towards a goal, while showing right relationship to gravity and levity. With too much gravity imposed the human would be unable to move or see beyond their nose, as they become stuck in place and squashed into the ground. If there was too much levity, one might float away into the sky. One would be free, mobile, with a vast perspective, yet unable to actually push against the ground to generate forward movement. The resolution in the metpahor is that humans have evolved within the atmospheric and gravitational context in a way that enables us enough freedom to jump, but not so little freedom that we leave the ground completely. The rhythm of our motion is one of constant contraction and expansion, pounding into the pavement then leaping away with alternate feet. ### Resolution: I posed the question in the context of moving towards some outcome, or maintaining some relationship. That may be for individuals as much as it may be the relationship of a community to its bioregion, or local government to its state counterparts. There is no 'right' answer to weighty or light treatment of a topic, rather it is a case of generating energy through the alternation from weighty to lightly. Skillful interaction requires an ability to 'play the whole piano' from the heaviest tone to the lightest tinkle. Whatever is appropriate in the context of the ebb and flow of the energy of others and in service of meaningful and effective relationships and progress. ### Practice: Gravity and levity, weighty and light are relative concepts. So too are seriousness and humour. Shift your attention to the relationship, and relative position to the other actors and the end goal. If the intention is to engage and mutually inquire and develop, then the primary attention is on maintaining the relationship. A sort of 'elastic' relationship with push and pull, stretch and rebound as you moment-to-moment orient to (and choose) the tone, energy, position and perspective most appropriate for the people and purpose. And if you get it 'wrong' then be prepared for a 'snap' as the elastic breaks, or stings as it snaps back and awakens you from your unconscious slumber. --- This is one in a series of 25 'Resilient Koans' documenting "an apithologue into the koans of practice discovered while creating resilient sustainable communities", in 2010.